Okay. This week we're keepin' it simple.
Persisting Patriarchy: Drink every time you see a chubby white guy with a white beard wearing a red suit who wants to know if you've been "good."*
Pointless Consumerism: Drink every time you see one of those pointless made-up "dad" or "mom" gifts. You know, that stuff you see in the department stores in weird displays at the corners of the aisle? Things like: alarm clocks that look like giant golf balls, coin sorters, robot shaped telephones, oddly-formed and ineffectual "massage" pillows, supposed-to-make-some- mundane-task -easier-but-actually-makes-it harder gadgets a la Sharper Image's Automatic Eyeglass Cleaner , and ugly "decorative" items like this LumiSource Ribbon Electra Lamp.
WTF? It's a lamp that looks like a big sperm. Exactly what everyone wants for their living room.
*not to be confused with this bearded guy, who we like .
Check out past installments of the game here and here. Cheers, comrade!