Wednesday, May 18, 2005

Chaotically in Denial, But Still a Star

Well, we watched Britney's show -- and don't ever expect us to call it Britney and Kevin's show because, well, we just refuse to even go along with the whole Britney and Kevin business. That guy is as dumb as a bag of hammers, but we won't get into that just now.

Anyway, we watched the show, and even coerced Chris and Julia into watching it with us. During commercial breaks we fell into this sort of stunned silence because, well, Chaotic is really really chaotic.

The show's footage -- which appears to have been shot entired on Britney's little camcorder -- is jangly and fleeting, much like Britney herself. Don't get us wrong, we really like the girl, but she's a total spazz!!! And we have a hunch that she's not the type of person who craves "alone time."

As far as we can tell, aside from doing the show, alot of being on tour is like being at camp. Fun bunk beds, junk food, girl talk. Of course, there's also that whole being on TRL, having multiple body guards (who seem really cool -- I want a show about them!), and getting your make-up done and -- oh yeah -- having all the "ectsasy! ecstasy! ecstasy!" sex with some guy who can't put a sentence together.

Our friend Julia astutely drew comparisons to Pamela and Tommy Lee's video, and she also observed that Chaotic is Britney's Truth or Dare.

As to our read of Britney's "narrative intent" -- either she is in total denial about the depth and nature of her relationship with K. Fed (really, I've met rocks who seem more responsive), or this is all part of her master plan to "rise from the ashes" of this ridiculous relationship once she kicks K.Fed to the curb.

I mean, Britney may going through her "trashtastic" phase, but she's only 23!!! By the time she's 27 she'll be fierce fierce fierce all over again.


rockslinga said...

well, what disappoints me is how she claims it's "can you handle my truth" but doesn't really tell it. for example, she never revealed her favorite sex position, or if she did, decided not to include the footage. in the end, she's just an immature girl. if i married every dude i picked up at a club and had "ecstasy" sex with, i'd be...well, let's just say i'd have a lot of divorces under my belt.

Jenny said...

I would comment on Britney, but I'm too overwhelmed with hatred for k. fed. right now. What a lame ass.

Maybe I'm unfairly comparing him to JT, who, while also as dumb as that bag of hammers you mentioned in your post, was at least attractive and was certainly not dating B. for her money. I can't believe that with all those editors and stuff they couldn't make that loser seem more likeable.

My favorite part of the show was when Britney asked Kevin about his perfect girl and about getting married and stuff and then in her commentary she says, "Oh, I was using reverse psychology. You know, cause I really liked him. But I wanted to seem like I didn't." Despite what you may think by all of her man-eating songs and man-eating videos, my girl's got no game.

Remember at the beginning of the blonde girl singer wars when it was all Britney vs. Christina? Well, it's so weird how now it's Britney vs. Jessica? Who has the better show? Who gets to be Daisy Duke? Who has flatter abs? Who is dumber?

chadrh1 said...

Hey, here's something from this issue of Rolling Stone's "From the Vault," a 2000 interview with Britney:

"I mean, if I fall in love tomorrow with a guy who runs a McDonald's, I'm going to follow my heart. But I think it's easier if you're with someone who is in the business."

The heart always wins.