Wednesday, July 27, 2005

Annoying Boys Whose Names Begin with the letter "R"

If Cookie Monster can have a letter of the day, then so can we. And since it has been awhile since we've had an "Annoying Boy of the Week" post, we might as well take on a whole little clique of snore boys at once. Today, the letter R.


Ray Romano

Ray is Rotten

Holy Hell, has there ever been a boy-man more annoying than this self-satisfied "comic" ? His show, ironically titled
Everybody Loves Raymond, is finally over, but that doesn't mean we won't be subjected to syndication hell. Yes, my friends. Hell is the place where Everybody Loves Raymond plays 24-7. The gender-dynamics on the show were pretty stone age, as all the women in the show seemed to cater to RR's every whim. I don't know what else to say. I just really hate that show.

I do, however, like
romano cheese.

2.) Ryan Seacrest Ryan Seacrest is getting his message out: fake tans and anorexia are for boys too! What a mealy mouth. What an unctuous slither-slime. How did he get that job? How? How?

3.) Ryan Cabrera This guy has the most ridiculous hair I've ever seen. And did Joe Simpson pay him to go out with Ashlee or what?

Karl Rove The nickname "turdblossom" is, for this mofo, a euphemism.

5.) Last, but certainly not least,
Ross from friends. Sure, he had his funny moments -- I can admit that. He's pretty funny in some of the flashbacks, when he has a moustache and plays his casio keyboard and sings about computers. But he is soooooo annoying. He had a pet monkey? Hello! A monkey doesn't want to be your pet!!! A monkey wants to live in the jungle and swing from vines and eat bananas. Anyway, Ross is whiny and wishy-washy. His hair appears to be shellaced with the same mixture of egg whites, spray starch, and elmer's glue that my high school friends used to make their much cooler mohawks. Plus, Ross is too proud to get back together with Rachel (who was always too good for the little green eyed monster anyway), and instead clings to the refrain "we were on a break!" thus allowing asshole boys of the universe to form a fraternity around this pathetic logic ( a depressing sign of the times really, when "technicalities" are invoked in order to justify infidelities, IMHO). And HE DOESN'T EVEN READ HER LETTER in that episode at the beach house. What a baby!!!!

Some good things begin with "R"

1 comment:

mzn said...

Laughter prevents me from typing any more.