Monday, August 08, 2005

Annoying Boy of the Week: Wes from the Real World is a Really Wretched Weasel


We haven't watched the Real World regularly since it was in London, and then it was mostly because I thought Oxford punker boy Neal was hot. But this season the show is in Austin, and since we live here, it seemed like it would be interesting to tune in.

But it wasn't interesting. It was embarrassing. I mean, this show is boring (and you know we have an iron stomach for MTV offerings). In fact, the only thing we've gained by watching this crap is another boy to loathe. And we are not alone.

When I've tried to imagine what old W was like as a youngun, I've pictured a gangly monkey (in a diaper) with a needle hanging out of his arm and swinging from a chandelier. Wes is sort of close to that. He is smug, entitled, and mean. A real chauvinist pig. It was his idea to keep a drawer full of girls' phone numbers so that he and the other male cast members could dip into it any time they need to assert their virility (I still can't believe that there are any women willing to hook up with these people). Ironically, however, he feels compelled to "warn" one of his female roommates when he finds out one of the men she is seeing is only going out with her "because he can." Never mind that he's doing the same thing to as many women as possible! He's just that stone age. A real bam-bam. I kept looking for a club. And I just know that there is going to be a pissing contest before the season wraps.

Check out some excerpts from his roommate q + a:

1. Why did you audition for The Real World?

I auditioned at first because I was trying to hook up with a girl. I went to the open call plastered and trashed everyone in the bar. Who would have known?

2. Describe a typical day in your life, pre-Real World.

Wake up at 4 (p.m.?). Stumble to class. Sit in back. Fall asleep. Lift weights. Party...Party...Party...
16. What's the one thing you want people to know about you after watching the show?

I am really into the entrepreneurial world and cannot wait to invest in my own business.

17. What's your favorite thing to do in Austin?

Go to Dizzy and dance with all the Austinite groupies. Also dancing with Johanna [another cast member] and making her rip her pants.
Charming. I don't know which is more horrifying: the fact that this asshole has "austinite groupies" or the creepy, implied violence in the phrase "rip her pants."

I'll end by noting that on the snippet of the last episode I watched, Wes got into the shower while two of his roommates were hooking up to, like -- y'know, be funny. What is wrong with this person??? Perhaps that whole hazing thing messed him up:

7. Before moving into The Real World house, what roommate experience did you have? Were you nervous about living with Seven Strangers?

One of my old roommates in my fraternity house got some pledge brothers together and taped me up with duct tape so I couldn't move, then poured hard alcohol down my throat.

So it could be that. But it's probably more likely that Wes is just an asshole. I'd call him a weasel** again, but I just don't think the weasel deserves it.

*My apologies to pigs of the world as well.
** And the above mentioned monkey don't deserve it either.

Find annoying boys of weeks past here, here, here, and here.


Chris said...

Also in TX news: Follow the link below to my vote for annoying FESTIVAL of the week... Midland, TX, is 15 minutes from where I grew up, also Bush's purported "stomping ground". (Stomping is actually a pastime in Midland--it's where the bosses live.)

Chris said...

oops, here's the link: