Friday, May 27, 2005

Feel Like a Big Delicious

where'd you get them jeans?

Apple Bottoms by Nelly.

Nelly designs jeans?

Yup, the rapper-singer who only a few years ago urged you to "take off all your clothes" is now making some for you to wear.

Apple Bottoms, said to "celebrate and liberate the natural curves of a woman's body," appear to be more that just another musician's forray into the world of fashion design. These jeans not only promise to be bootylicious, but radical. Though this message is more palpable in the feel of the website and its ad copy than it is in the look of the jeans, we'll take what we can get. After all, we don''t really get the sense that normal sized women make frequent appearances in the imaginations of most fashion designers.

Jeans, once the clothes of the working man, have become genuine luxury items. With the influx of brands like Seven, Citizens for Humanity, and Paper, Denim + Cloth, more people are dropping between $100 and $200 for that "perfect" pair. Most of these jeans do promise something vaguely progressive : they claim to be "hand finished" or (my favorite) "hand whiskered," and most of them are also sweatshop-labor free. But many of these brands have gained popularity due to their reputed ability to minimize a woman's flaws. And then there's Nelly, telling us to "liberate and celebrate" what so many of us are usually trying to hide.

The Apple Bottoms models make it clear that it is *all about* the hips and booty. We like that instead of back pockets, many of the styles are festooned with pink rhinestone apples (yum!).

But what we are really curious about is how Nelly came to embark on this venture. Was he sick of listening to friends and girlfriends and sisters complain about shopping for that perfect pair? Did he notice women looking uncomfortable in ill-fitting denim as they were shaking their tail feathers? Was he jealous of J. Lo (whose jeans, I can personally attest, are *not* designed for particularly curvy women -- how ironic) ? Or has he always had a yen to design clothing for women. Really, we wonder.

As of now, Apple Bottoms are not available in Texas unless you order from the website. Perhaps we'll be the first person in Austin to wear them. We really like those rhinestones! They'd look sweet with pink sandals. And we also really like the name "Apple Bottoms." It's cute!


Anonymous said...
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Jenny said...

Michelle, Michelle. Skinny, skinny Michelle. I'm afraid that you don't have enough backside to fill out a pair of Apple Bottoms. That's right, I've been checking out your ass, girl, and you are going to have to start eating a hell of lot more Lion bars if you think you're going to fit into a pair. But, if you are hinting at a possible wedding gift, send me your size and I'd be happy to indulge you. :-)

Seriously, though, these jeans are really cute--I really like all the rhinestone jeans and stuff these days. I can't afford them to save my (broke) life, but I like them. I had never heard of Apple Bottoms--did you see them in L.A.?

I wonder if the next piece Nelly will come out with is an Apple Bottom Bra. My guess is that Nelly likes big boobs too.

femme feral said...

I wonder if he would call the bra "apple toppers"?