Monday, June 06, 2005

Annoying Boys of the Week

the boys of hbo's Entourage

Dear Reader, we have neglected you; we have been slack on our promised "Annoying Boy of the Week" installments. Before you judge us, let us explain.

It's pretty easy to identify an annoying boy every week, but it's pretty difficult to muster up the energy to write about said boy. We think Collin Farrell is hella anoying -- smug, nasty, vain -- but every time we've started to post about the fool our mind wanders. We can't get two sentences into the post before we're all like "bored now."

And Tom Cruise is basically banal by this week. As is Brandon Davis, who has never been very good at appearing to be anything but annoying -- spoiled rotten and soooo grumpy looking. What's that about? Did he loose one of his big bags of money? Or did Mischa perhaps drop a hint that he should wash his hair? Anyway, the annoyingness of these men is pretty much old news.

And this is true of *so many* other overexposed and overrated men: K. Fed, Brad Pitt, Ryan Cabrera, Ryan Seacrest, the Ying Yang Twins, Simon and Randy from American Idol (where Paula Abdul gets the "martha stewart" treatment: "burn her at the stake! burn her at the stake!") . And fucking Ronald McDonald for trying to pimp out that ridiculous fruit and yogurt salad. Thanks Ronnie, but I've had a fruit cup before, and your mysterious "yogurt" sauce and funky walnuts look a tad suspicous for me. Plus pretty gross.

So you see, it isn't that we are holding out on you. It's just that we only like posting on this subject when we're genuinely moved. So you know, let's agree to use the term "week" loosely. Don't worry, we'll keep you apprised of the most annoying boys. And sometimes we'll even give you a whole group. Like now.

So annoying that we can't even write about them for very long because our hands keep clenching into fists, we give you the most hateful crew from that most annoying of HBO shows, Entourage. It's like Swinger's on Viagra. The worst shit we've ever seen. The most pathetic pack of loser bam bams ever imagined. And we don't care if the show supposedly makes fun of the guys. Do we really need to watch another pack of entitled, repressed, homophobic white boys talk about "popping cherries"? Tell me again how that's supposed to be ironic. It's not even worth the so-called "inside" look at Hollywood. These guys suck.


Jenny said...

LOL. How did I know you guys were going to hate entourage?????? They are bambams you're right. But I kinda like the show. I just watched it on HBO on demand. Please don't hate me!!!!!!!!

rockslinga said...

i used to watch it for debbie mazar. i want to be her sex slave. she's so awesome. i wish they could have a spin off of her character. or beter yet, have a an episode where the guys all die ina helicopter crash, and then we get to follow debi around as she babysits hordes of assholes until her "empowerment"moment, when she decides to pimp fat, cool, gorgeous comediennes. i gotta go pitch that show to HBhoe now.