Tuesday, May 10, 2005

Our Eyes (and Guys) are Tired

queer eye for the straight guy

We *loved* this show the first few times we saw it. The fab five were so soft and cuddly, even when they had their little claws out. They made hilarious messes of the poor straight guys' houses and did ridiculous things with their ugly clothes, furniture, and underwear. And then there was the shopping! They bought everything! So much fun! Sure, we enjoyed witnessing the transformation of the "straight guy" from "drab" to "fab," but that was always less entertaining than just watching the Fab Five clown around and make jokes. But gradually, over the past year or so, our affections for this program have waned.

It could be that we've just gotten a little bit of makeover show fatigue. It could be that their special guests have become increasingly suspicious
(Suze Orman). And it could be that the recipients of all the attention and free shit seem less deserving (i.e. -- a frat house in Texas??? Don't those guys get enough shit for free already???). And we must admit, before any of this other stuff, we were a little curious about the way people were talking about how cool it was that there was this show where gay and straight guys interact and get along. They were all like, look at all these straight men who aren't homophobes! Never mind that the straight guys get tons of free stuff! See how open-minded America's straight men really are !! Just don't ask us about gay marriage! ha ha!

Don't get us wrong, we still have a soft spot for at least THREE of the fab5: Carson, Ted, and Thom -- we heart you. We always will. We definitely do not blame you for our diminished proclivity. We know that you're just doing your jobs, and trying to make the best of it.

But those other two -- JAI and KYAN, we find you tiresome.

JAI, your role on the show has always seemed a little vague to us. Bravo calls you a "Culture Vulture," and we're still scartching our head over that one. As far as we call tell, all you do is coax the straight guys into saying banal and insincere stuff to the people they care about while the cameras are rolling.

And KYAN, you just seem like such a narcissist. It gets on our nerves when you're mean to people about their grooming habits! stop it! And we think the team would work just fine as a trio. Just let a stylist do all the icky product placement that you do.

Anyway, Carson, the obvious star of the show, has a new children's book: You're Different and That's Super. It looks really cute! It has a little happy unicorn on the cover. Yay for happy unicorns!


Jenny said...

Props on the culture vulture call. That guys is more useless than a dial-up connection.

And Carson's book is sooo cute. I almost can't wait to have kids so that I can fill their bookshelves with politically and culturally progressive childrens' books and watch as all my yuppie conservative relatives choke on their mashed potatoes.

Andrew said...

I agree with you about Kyan. Plus, he always seems to make the exact same suggestion in every show: when you're putting gel into your hair, always start from the back and work toward the front. I mean, I guess that's a good suggestion, but the guy's gotta come up with something new to say.