We like trash. It's our tonic. Our vice. We sift through cable's most disposable offerings and slurp them up like greasy old noodles. Yum. We love being full of trash. We must be bloated with it. We are trash junkies. Two hours without it and were all like, "more trash! more trash! Get us a trash IV, stat!" We crave the trash. We worship it.
But trash is not always available. At least not the tasty trash. That's why we need our trash on dvds. We spin that shit nightly. We bathe in the stench of stinkiest special features. We pause on the most garbage-licious moments. We rot in the waste of mind-pummeling commentaries.
So we ask the mighty gods of trash -- why do you withhold some of your most delectable offerings?
Jessica is on DVD. Why aren't you Ashlee?
So trashy. So painfully slimy and sticky. So icky yicky ya ya yay.
And what about:
My Super Sweet Sixteen
Garbage. Waste. Refuse. Pig guts. Give it! Give it!
And what about Rich Girls, aka Ally Hilfiger and Jaime Gleicher?
would you watch these two stinkers on DVD?
Detritus. Rubbish. Two foul piles of it.
And don't think we lack a sense of history:
Trash of our teens.
90210: the dump's original zip code. Earnestly noisome. Odiously adorable.
And look! We already have something fresh and healthy to cleanse our palette:
At least the Puppy Bowl is on DVD
Aw! Adorable puppies. So you can't judge us, because we like puppies.