On the Rocks

TV Tanka

Me and TV -- we
like old buddies, like lovers.
Sweetheart, candy. Some-
times soother, sometimes grabber --
what once was sweet goes sour.

Shook [me]. Stirred [me]. TV played [me].

...

Big Love

Bill Henrickson is
a prick with three wives. I feel
bad for the wives. Bill --
I'd like to see him torn down.
I like the girls from VM.


Gilmore Girls

Once there was a show
about women who were smart.
Now there is a show
about smart women who eat
shit. I hate that f*ing show.


Blow Out

Jonathan Antin
blows. He blows his top. He blows
himself. Lip-licking
mirrors, his staff, his "wife." His
one true love is QVC.


The Real Houswives of Orange County

Slade Smiley took down
his myspace, prob'ly 'cause peeps
were poking fun at
how he laid out his watches.
That was really stupid, Slade.