Saturday, June 11, 2005

Our Favorite Sisters, or Alpha Lotsa Moolah: The Celebrity Sorority

Number One: Mary Kate and Ashley

mary-kate and ashley

Mary Kate and Ashley are number one because -- face it -- they are the sisters who started this recent trend of celebrity sorority. Plus, they really do seem to have some freaky intense bond. Even though they are no longer sharing an apartment, we bet they have all that neat twin stuff. Like, they can probably read each other's mind and stuff. They are rich as shit, fun to look at, and oddly fascinating. We recently watched the Full House E! True Hollywood Story, and our admiration for this twosome has thus grown immeasurably. Did you know that Bob Saget was always making gross and inappropriate jokes on set? And we had totally forgotten about that "you got it dude!" that MK and Ash had to say. Yikes.

Number Two: Jessica and Ashlee

Jessica and Ashlee

Fresh outta Waco, TX, the Simpson sisters are southern fried. We think Jessica is sorta smart (but think her new video must have been directed by that awful daddy of hers) and find Ashlee awfully dense (though we just can't change the channel when her show is on). But we wonder, do they even like each other? Ashlee is almost invisible throughout the first three seasons of Newlyweds, and it doesn't really seem like they ever hang out or paint each other's toenails or -- I dunno -- talk? But there was this really great scene on the Ashlee show when Jessica did the robot dance to one of Ashlee's songs. And then Jessica yelled at Ashlee to stop dressing like such a boy (Ashlee was probably just trying to hide her boobs from their dad). And of course they also did that hilarious duet of "Little Drummer Boy" on their Christmas special.

"I have no gifts to bring pa-rum-pa-pa-pum"

Number Three: Beyonce and Solange

Beyonce and Solange

Beyonce has enough star power to light her own solar system, and many of Destiny's Child songs are about sista solidarity. Plus, she and Jay-Z are our favorite Hollywood Couple. Although her sister Solange is not nearly as high-profile as B, she's definitely got the Knowles sheen about her. Plus she seems sort of content and down-to-earth and happy.

Number Four: Paris and Nikki

Paris and Nikki

Our guilty pleasure. How is it that we are not totally sick of these people yet?

Number Five: Hillary and Haylie

Hillary and Haylie

A love/hate relationship. We love their dog, but hate their cover of the Go-Go's classic "Our Lips are Sealed." WTF were they thinking? Plus, they took over the Liquid Ice campaign after the Simpson sisteres backed out, and taking sloppy seconds from an endorsement seems pretty shameless. But Hillary doesn't seem to mind that her sister is trying to get a piece of her fame, so they must genuinely sorta like each other.

Number Six: Britney and Jamie-Lynn

Britney and Jamie-Lynn

We loved it when Britney coyly dissed Eminem on the premier episode of Chaotic: "I think he complains alot. But, I mean, that's cool. It's cool when guys complain about all the stuff girls have done to them. And their mom and stuff. I mean, whatever gets you in the game." ha ha Brit!

Anyway . . .sisters. At this point, we're not sure if these guys are going to give us years of entertainment (clubbing and dancing on tables together after britney and k-fed split), or if they've sort of plateaued. We like when Britney talked about wanting to keep her show clean for her sister's sake, and we liked Jamie-Lynn's reaction to Brit's Madonna kiss ("I was like, oh my gah -- she did not just do that"). Plus, she's already been featured on Go Fug Yourself.

Number Seven: Venus and Serena

venus and serena

These two definitely have the best names, and they are sooo rad. It is really fun to watch them hit that little yellow ball, and they definitely rock the courtside fashion. They'd be higher on our list if they were out and about a bit more. Their website is very pink.

Sisters With Potential:

Mischa and Hania

Hania and Mischa

Yesterdays not-so-blind item has us very excited about Mischa's little sis. She sounds like a real wild child! And what cute names they have. Bring on the schadenfreude!!!

Lindsay's Sis Aliana

She looks like a total priss. But that dog is really cute.

1 comment:

Jenny said...

Yeah! Doesn't it make you happy that you have a really cute sister? We can pledge the sorority! (Although I'm not sure the "lotsa moolah" part really describes my sister and I.) Anyhow--I love celebrity sisters, but I do feel really bad for the not so cute Duff sister. It's no wonder that Hilary was the first one to get famous. I think the cutest of the bunch is Brittany's little sis, although I do love Nicky's handbags. Do you wanna know who COULD NOT be in this sorority? Jennifer Garner's sisters. I saw them once on Jay Leno and they are nowhere NEAR Jennifer Garner and it seems from the looks of their outfits and hairdos and stuff, that the female half of the new Bennifer has not been hooking her peeps up with any of that cash money from Alias. I think they both still live in West Virginia or something.